Ruined Orgasm

In the world of BDSM we find a method of significant humiliation called ruined orgasm. Yet is there such a thing, and if so, why does it work?

I want to take a closer look here, because we deal with two body reactions when it comes to sexual climaxing. Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same, so which of the reactions is effected, if at all? The short answer is: you can not really ruin an ejaculation, but you can ruin an orgasm.

Why ruin after all? In this blog I recently wrote about cum-denial and forced ejaculation. Now an escalation of these practices within a master/mistress-slave constellation, where the slave is totally at the hands (and will) of his master/mistress, would be the destruction (ruining) of the experience of sexual relief. This is truly sadistic, because it leaves the victim highly frustrated if not damaged to a certain extend.

Concerning ejaculation, an attempt of ruining it, or rather experiencing it as such, is more related to the attitude and experience of the slave than to the biological process. Ejaculation is a reflex which either can be avoided, or which runs its program once triggered. The reflex can´t be interrupted, it can´t be ruined per se. It though can be denied, avoided.

When you avoid ejaculation, you edge. When you manage to avoid PONR but trigger emission (the free flow of milk) it is even more rewarding, because you harvest cum (with the associated sensations of expelling fluid from your glands) without losing your hornyness. And when you pass PONR you experience ejaculatory climax, although that may not always feel mind-blowing, depending on the circumstances. But the reflex does take place, your respective muscles do spasm in a pulsing manner, despite the volume of secretions waiting in your glands to see the light of day.

With orgasm it is a different story. The topic orgasm lies still ahead, actually, it will be the subject of my next chapter arriving soon. Orgasm is more complex than ejaculation. When you mess with that, you mess with the whole man!

Whereas ejaculation is a local phenomenon (centered in your pelvis region), the orgasmic reaction, being a powerful reflex as well, integrates the whole body. Orgasm, in short, is a discharge of energy (i.e. arousal and excitement having encompassed your being) letting you lose conscious control over your body for a brief moment.

Other than your ejaculation, which you can manipulate and observe and savor like from a distance, keeping calm over all (which in fact is the beauty of it), your body literally moves you at the moment of orgasmic release. This goes along with secondary physiological changes in your body that may be missing with ejaculation. Here are the most obvious ones:

• The heart rate peaks as high as 180 beats per minute (from a resting rate of about 70).
• The blood pressure peaks at about 200 over 110, from a resting pressure of about 130 over 70.
• The respiratory rate peaks at about 41 breaths a minute, from a resting rate of about 12 per minute.
• The sex flush, if present, peaks in intensity and distribution.

It is not difficult to imagine that a master/mistress ruins the orgasm of the victim when his body is set to discharge the accumulated energy or even begins to do so, while the master/mistress denies further stimulation to make it happen, instead turning away and leaving the victim totally frustrated with his primed biology now unable to execute the all-encompassing, body-wracking experience set to undergo right there and then. This ain´t healthy by no means. It´s like hitting the brakes at full speed!

After all, ruining a climax is as much a physical issue as it is a mental one. You need constant sensory input to trigger a climax, no matter if ejaculation or orgasm. And since both reactions are most often intertwined it may not matter much which of them is pending, once you are under total control of your dom. When you sense that you are ever so close to the threshold, or (even worse in this case) your point-of-no-return is reached and maybe just passed, and you are left alone in that instant, possibly strapped down, then you experience your life is ruined right there. You hardly find another frustration that sinister.

His Ejaculation And You

Contrary to being solosexually active, there may always be lurking some kind of issue when it comes to partnersex. Simply because each one involved easily developes expectations the other partner may or may not fulfill. Or, at an elevated psychological level: carrying the feeling that something is expected (by the partner) may lessen the overall experience of an otherwise highly synched sexual act.

We have seen in the previous posts, that there are women among us who deeply share the love for male genitals, the male reproductive system and the male produce. This is great news, however, a perfect match may still be really difficult to find (or to establish).

A perfect match is difficult to achieve because:

• there are different ways to deal with an ejaculation and the cum it produces
• the guys involved just carry different preferences or ideas on how to design a particular act
• preferences, ideas and abilities may change over time.

In a previous post I was speaking of basically three options for the fellatrice/masturbator to take care of her/his partners ejaculation and semen. Now given that a couple is out for making his ejaculation (or the phase before and near PONR = edging) intense AND that it aims for harvesting a big load of milk, we will encounter these choices:

Option 1 – The masturbator (female or male) just loves to observe her/his pleasure-receiver in the phase of edging, triggering and ejaculating. Perfect when the receiver is acting out his climax without any inhibition in total surrender, while producing lots of precum and a large quantity of semen.

Option 2 – The masturbator loves to be sprayed all over with her/his mans semen to feel being covered in his essence. Perfect when the receiver is a natural shooter producing lots of precum and a big milkload.

Option 3 – The masturbator loves to take facials for savoring (smelling, feeling, tasting) her/his mans juices. Perfect when the receiver is a solid shooter producing a good flow of precum and a remarkable load of milk.

Option 4 – The masturbator loves to drink her/his mans sweet milk right from the „tap“ because she/he „needs“ to taste and/or digest her/his lovers man-juice as well as to experience the totally intimate physical act. Perfect when the pleasure-receiver reliably produces precum and one or more voluminous milkloads.

At this point read another account by a cum-loving woman (gathered by a guy called Jallen – more here) which illustrates options 3 and 4 perfectly:

To be perfectly honest, as I was growing up I never imagined I’d allow guys to do that [give me facials] to me. I also can’t believe now, how much I enjoy it sometimes. But … it took me several years of taking them to get to this point of really enjoying it. In the beginning, I did it out of love. I was young, dumb, and didn’t know any better. I wanted to do whatever it took to show my guy (whoever it happened to be that month) that I was totally into him. … But now I don’t feel that way. Now … I actually ask for it and truly enjoy it. Even when it’s a huge load. (Most of the time it’s quite a lot of semen, sometimes an incredible amount.) On top of taking facials, I let a lot of my past boyfriends cum directly in my mouth. I think I’ve let it cum in my mouth more times than I’ve taken it in the face actually. … I like the thicker semen better. Not that I don’t like the thinner viscosity. It’s just I really taste it more when it’s thick. … Jallen, you really can’t imagine what that’s like (for me personally anyway) to drink down a mouthful of cum.

I can’t help the mental thoughts that go through my mind as I’m feeling the hot jets of semen hit the roof of my mouth. The thoughts I’m thinking as I’m feeling my mouth fill up with fluid. … It’s like I’m saying to myself, ‘Damn, girl, here you are, a cock in your mouth, draining fluid … yeah, you feel it draining in your mouth, and you’re gonna swallow it when he’s done.’ … As for position, I’ve been on my knees many times. I seem to enjoy it that way. I’ve also swallowed and taken many facials lying on my back. A lot of times when I’m on my back it’s after intercourse when he pulls out to cum in my face rather than in me. I actually prefer them to pull out. Two reasons. 1) I like to see it squirt. 2) I like watching him jerk it off. I usually let him jerk it off in my face or in my mouth when he pulls out.

This girl sure loves her mans milk. She appears like being a cumqueen, featuring aspects of the more refined cumprincess. – Now, at the end of this chapter concerning partnersex I believe that a variation of the illustrated choices will be most satisfactory for a like-minded couple, especially when both lovingly agree on how to resolve their act. And they always can repeat and vary!

In my next chapter I want to take a look at a situation where the masturbator craves cum, but cares less for the producer of it (or so it seems). That describes the realm of partner-milking and forced ejaculations. However, before I get to that I will tell you yet another story (depicting option 2 mentioned above) in my next post. Stay tuned!

Quoting Women Preferring Facials

In my previous posts I try to promote awareness about fellatio in general and the orally triggered ejaculation in particular. So, what do you do when he cums? Or rather, what do you prefer to do in that special moment?

It all depends on who is in charge of the situation. Meaning, whoever has the hands/mouth on the receivers cock (and balls) at PONR will decide what happens next. I´d opt for the fellatrice to be fully in charge, always. However, her/his receiver may have his own ideas.

Among the options for dealing with the climax of the act, producing a facial seems to be a very popular one. There may be a range of reasons for why a couple chooses to let him cum-cover his fellatrices face – as long as both agree it´s a most beautiful experience. Needless to say that the porn-industry loves to show facials for their visual appeal. But even in the private, without the cam rolling, facials are welcomed by many as a highly erotic aspect of the sexual bond between the two (or more) involved.

Read some testimonials of women who just love being cum-sprayed in their faces or having their mouthes filled with warm man-milk. I found these statements online in 2004 (forgot where exactly) collected by a guy called Jallen (I abridged some of the quotes):

Note from Jallen: Over the years, I’ve corresponded with (and sometimes met) facially-fixated women who are not the least bit shy when it cums to sharing their love of hot, dripping cream… all the following quotes are guaranteed genuine, and are used by permission of the ladies concerned.

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I love to get facials from my boyfriend. I love the warm feel of the cum on my face. I always want it on my mouth too, so I can taste it as he cums. The most guys I’ve had cum on my face at the same time is 5 … yes, 5 … I was drinking and feeling horny at a frat party … I just started talking about sex with the guys and some of the girls and I told them I like facials … the other girls didn’t. Well, that meant more cum for me … *grin*. My face was covered … It was one of the most erotic things that ever happened to me. … I took off my top and bra, I didn’t want them to get messy. I was 22 at the time. I had them all jerk off over me at the same time … I was kneeling … Not all the guys came at the same time … When one came, he would get out of the way so someone else could get closer at my face … After two guys I had to keep my eyes closed to keep it from getting in them … Some of them aimed high, but I didn’t care … After all five I had to wipe it out of my eyes … Then I took a taste of it to give everybody a thrill … The guys loved it … One of them gave me a towel to wipe the rest off my face … It was something I had to try at least once … I was always turned on by it in pornos …

The thing I think of when a guy is about to cum on my face is … How much and how long will he squirt on my face. When it hits me I feel a warm wet sensation on my face … I always tell him, ‘Yes, yes, cover me!!’ I like to talk when he cums, so I can taste it too.

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I love how men cum, I love how men taste, I love watching how men cum, I love the feeling of it landing on my skin wherever it is … I would gladly get the high protein facial/drink from you anytime you want, honey … My only hangup with it is when the guy is only a taker and not a giver. I mean, I like having a guy cum on my face all by itself, but if he never wants to go down on me, or screw me good and hard – then he is selfish and I don’t feel like putting out for him … you know what I mean?

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I love sucking cock and getting a nice wet facial. My current boyfriend is really open-minded, a bit sexually dominant, and really into visuals. He likes it when I wear my make-up a bit heavier than usual so he can mess it up with a big load. Of course I have to be in for the evening! Swallowing still has merit though. I like that too!

Almost all the guys want to come in your mouth, for various reasons I guess. Perhaps because most women don’t like it. They also like it when you swallow it. … I was afraid to let a guy come in my mouth at first so I would usually blow them a bit, then jerk them off.

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Facials are something I’ve been into since the beginning of my dating boys. It started for very practical reasons. If I would have guys over, or be over at their places, and if we were left alone in the den or in the basement, well, nature would take its course … The most obvious problem was what to do with all the sperm. I couldn’t take it in the ‘natural’ way, because I wasn’t on OC’s [oral contraceptives], so I quickly learned to put my mouth on it and swallow it. No muss, no fuss. At that age, I didn’t know that I was supposed to be ‘disgusted’ with it and so came to like it very, very much. I love the texture of sperm, the smell of it and the taste of it. … Later on, and certainly at present, I’m much more into what you would call a true facial, rather than just swallowing it all. I really like watching sperm squirting out, be it thick or watery. I like finishing a guy off with my hand, squirting it in the general area of my face. If a guy wants to finish himself off, for more directional control, I’m just as happy with that.

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I thought I’d offer the following observations:

- The facial is hot because it’s hot. It’s an incredibly hot way to end a romantic, or sexual (the two are not always the same) encounter. It involves a man erupting, and a woman taking it in her face. And let’s face it, in our culture there is much to be said about ‘in your face’ activities. They’re bold, dominating, up front and honest.

- The facial is hot because it’s expressive. It’s a woman expressing to the male that she loves what she’s done to him and she loves what he’s doing to her. It’s accepting. A woman accepts a man doing the shoot-thing. And from the man’s point of view, it’s his expressing just how sensual the woman has been to him.

- It’s dominating. From both perspectives. A man dominates by shooting on a woman’s face, covering her with his essence. The woman dominates by reducing the man to a shooting, sniveling mess. He cannot do what he does without her sensuality.

- It’s hot because it’s forbidden. In the same way that sex in public, anal sex or group sex are forbidden in our society, their very actions make them more erotic and hotter.

- From a woman’s point of view, and from one who believes that woman holds ultimate power and control over men because of what is between her legs, it involves the man totally surrendering to the woman. He gives in to her sexuality and aura by coming on her face. She accepts it because she has the power. She could turn away. She could laugh at him. But she lets it happen. Because she loves what it does to him, and she loves what it does to her.

- It’s exciting because it’s hot. In many ways. Hot sex, hot cum, hot activity. Wow is it hot!

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For all you so-called “ladies” out there that may find facials degrading in both porn/real life, I give you this to think about. This is one of the most intimate acts a man and a woman can share. Anyone can be a sperm receptacle but the people who can open their minds/bodies to a lover find the most satisfaction. It has always given me pleasure to watch my partner reach climax. When he is staring down at you, and letting you taste him, there is no one else he is thinking about. I also enjoy rating a good porn facial on a scale of 1-10.

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I have always been an intense lover, since I had my first orgasm at 17/18 years old. I can get off by pleasing my man and I can have orgasms because he is totally stimulated. I found myself asking my boyfriend to ejaculate onto my face because he had never done it and I knew it would intensify his orgasm and it did.

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I too am a woman who loves to receive facials. I’m a 38 y.o. married woman and have enjoyed giving bj’s and getting facials since I was 18 and got my 1st one. At first I thought it was gross, but then I wanted more. The idea of a guy getting off all over my face just really turns me on. I love the feel and smell and taste of sperm. I’m lucky that my husband lets me indulge in the enjoyment, both with him and many other men. …So I’m another woman who has learned to truly love facials. And anyone who doesn’t see that it’s the woman who gets empowered by receiving facials probably hasn’t gotten many. … I talk to my girlfriends about enjoyment of sperm, most think it’s gross and we just laugh about it, some though also enjoy it. A lot of women like it, but are just embarrassed to admit it to their husbands or boyfriends, afraid they will think less of them for it.

For a Closer Look (6) – Ejaculation

With the clip promoted in this post I do close a chapter (beginning here) in which I was delving into ejaculation proper.

I offer a clip showing an ejaculation (actually two) which serves as a good example for what we (visually) experience on average when we think of this kind of climax. It reflects what the books tell us about what happens: precum oozing, an initial forceful shot of cum followed by many pumping pulses with an ever decreasing volume of milk throughout the reflex.

If you were reading along at this site you may now know many more details about this absolutely central sexual climax. And when we know how things work we can turn to aspects of what to make with it. – Coming up next: the love for milk!

Now back to the clip – you see:
- the guy consciously stroking his upright cock just below his helmet when a drop of precum appears on top of it. The drop of nectar is growing until, after a pushing move by the masturbator, the drop glides from the head. It takes some more light stroking before the guy triggers his ejaculation. Before his milk shoots in a first rope another drop of precum is pushed out of his urethra (briefly visible). He then pumps nine ever decreasing gushes of his viscid milk. The clip blends right to the second ejaculation which was presumably achieved thru vigorous jacking. He pumps a second set of runny milk now.

It´s an edited scene (to bypass time between the two ejaculations) in mediocre quality (small frame) and mute, 1.4 MB in size and running 1:07 minutes.

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Expected streaming video? – Please refer to this explanation here about why and how I offer clips (captioned: For a Closer Look) the way I do.