OrgDef (3) – How it Works

A basic, more general parameter is this (quote Lowen): »All orgasm-experiences do share one element of which I believe it offers the key to the understanding of this phenomenon. This element is the physical feeling of satisfaction. To deserve the label «orgasm», a sexual discharge must be physically satisfying.» Lowen states that anyone who experienced «such» an orgasm will be truly satisfied and neither irritable nor sad or aggressive, at unrest or upset.

I understand this satisfaction to be a complete one (for the body AND the mind) resulting from such a mono-orgasm. Further down we will understand why this is possible. – At this point I come to think of anyone who feels NOT satisfied with (or rather from) mono-orgasm. Multiple orgasm is not the answer concerning sexual satisfaction. As we will see further down, multiplicity of sexual climaxes is just another way from complete orgasm to reach satisfaction. The secret lies in the level of energetic charge and discharge of the body!

Probably the most distinct parameter deals with involuntary (!) pelvic movements when the orgasmic reflex takes over. Reich and Lowen differentiate between potent and non-potent orgasm. The complete (body) orgasm is a potent one, contrary to an only partly experienced orgasm (within the pelvis alone or even concentrated within the genitals/reproductive system), which must be inhibited. Hence the complete orgasm features involuntary pelvis/body movements in contrast to the stiffening of the body and the avoiding of free breathing when the orgasm-reflex of an inhibited orgasm-experience is about to occur.

For the better understanding of the involuntarity of movement we need to know that the functioning of the human body is driven by, what Lowen calls, the «I» and the «it». The «I» would be the Ego-Body with its conscious decisions, conscious acting and self-consciousness. The «it» controls the emotional-vegetative functioning of the body like the metabolism or the endocrine system. Impulses, instinct and reflexes are executed by the «it»-body which represents the evolutionary older part of an organism.

What happens at (complete) orgasm is this: the body experiences a profound change of condition when the flow of sexual (electric) energy reverses and brings with it the automatism of body-(pelvic)-movement. Until then the flow is always directed at the genitals. Just before the reflex (=discharge, =orgasm) sets in, the direction of energy-flow is reversed and the excitement flows from the pelvic area back into the body: the movements (the swinging) of the pelvis become smooth and more and more involuntarily. Breathing synchronizes with these convulsive movements.

Eventually the «it» takes over! That’s when the feeling of the energy-flow becomes so intense, that it finally overrules the «I». The loss of the «I»-consciousness means the takeover of a deeper life-functioning («it») now ruling over the organism. At this instance the excitement with its enormous energetic potential spreads out into the whole body. The energetic discharge is happening, the orgasmic reflex is moving body and soul literally. It is this autonomous mega-reflex, which makes the body bounce and spasm uncontrollably. This ecstatic and profound discharge of lust (energy) is releasing ALL of the sexual excitement and tension, followed by the relaxation of the body and the detumescence of the erectile tissue. The whole process always is experienced as being deeply satisfactory.

I briefly want to add two more quite self-explanatory parameters we observe going along with complete orgasm. First: it is the breathing, which will occur deep and free all the way through the experience. Breathing is tightly connected not only to the metabolism (thus the economy of energy), but very much so to emotional experience. Deep breath enhances feelings! And second we know that the heartbeat is significantly speeded up parallel to the orgasmic reflex.

… to be continued!

Climaxes Put In Words

It may be quite a task to put into words (to describe) such intense and blissful sensations a man experiences while he climaxes. Some time ago the forum of The Erotica Readers & Writers Association did ask men (and women):

Describe Your Orgasm

How does it feel? Don’t be shy…

Can you describe your orgasm? The feeling from beginning to end—I’d love to hear your description without the usual explicatives. Be wide-ranging, and all-inclusive in how it feels, where it comes, and from whence it comes.

In this post I do quote quite some accounts of guys (leaving out the ladies here) not to check with literary capacities, but to demonstrate how different guys do understand the term orgasm, or rather, what experience they take for an orgasm. Read this selection (I did some focal editing) with my comment on every guys description:

From Nathan

You are in total bliss for around 10 seconds but I’ve found a way to make it last longer. I’ve been masturbating since I was 5 am now 22.

Nathan then describes that he had discovered edging, and eventually:

…my heart was pounding and every 20 seconds I had to stop again. I could feel it right down my legs, I couldn’t even move, until after about 10 minutes of this torture I gave in and had one of the biggest climaxes I’ve had.

I guess Nathan is speaking about an intense ejaculation after some edging.

 

From Jim W

…I suddenly reach that FAMOUS, FABULOUS point of no return, here by myself, I give an “undignified” grunt…, as I reflect, it appears this pleasurable state—focused in penis, lasts awhile, but in fact I discovered it only lasts a second or two—then I shoot my wad as the rope of cum lands faraway, 2nd and 3rd shots/contractions reflect penile pleasure, after this, as the pleasure fades (as well as volume of ejaculate) I instinctively pump that dick faster, as to milk out the remaining semen; but by now the intense orgasmic pleasure had since faded.

…I estimate approx. 6 seconds of orgasmic pleasure—centered in penis, and after 1 climax, the dick soon goes limp.

Jim W is clearly speaking of an ejaculatory climax.

 

From Anonymous

I’m an older man and divorced, and I wish to describe the orgasm I have experienced with a special method of masturbation. It’s natural for men to want to thrust the hips forward in sex with a woman or in masturbation, but with my method I experience a wonderful, mind-blowing oozing sensation that precedes a very powerful series of ejaculations.

I lie on my side and bend slightly at the hips so that my butt is sticking out in back and, as I stroke my penis, I concentrate on relaxing my PC and sphincter muscles. When I get to the point of loss of control, with those muscles relaxed I can feel the semen oozing slowly up my penis and out the tip, an incredibly erotic sensation. Then the intense muscle contractions take over, but I still resist assisting them by concentrating on relaxing. I experience extremely strong contractions along my penis, in the anal area and down to my knees. Oddly enough, the pleasure is more intense if my penis is not entirely stiff.

This is a very intriguing variant of an ejaculatory climax, this experienced guy explains.

 

From KL

…As my cock gets erect, I feel a very pleasurable, slight tingling sensation. As I get ever so closer to orgasm, this pleasurable sensation becomes gradually stronger. My cock is usually rock hard & throbbing at this point and I begin to get a feeling of fullness inside me, in the area just behind & above my scrotum. All the while, my heart is beating faster and faster, along with a little heavier breathing. When I am several seconds away from orgasm, I sometimes feel a few random twitches of my PC muscle. Right after that (if I continue stimulation), is the beginning of my orgasm, as I define it.

Ladies, (and guys, too), in case you were wondering, a guy’s ejaculation occurs DURING his orgasm, but is only one of a handful of things going on! At the moment my orgasm actually begins, I feel my semen pooling at the base of my penis & beginning to move into the urethra. This is the point at which a guy knows he’s going to come, and there is no way to stop it! It feels so good–I wish it would last longer! It is a very warm, almost “hot” feeling inside me. When this hot feeling peaks, which takes only a few seconds once it begins, I feel a wave of energy (for lack of a better description) radiate out from my groin to my extremities. My face grimaces, my fists clench, and my toes curl. At the same time, my PC muscles contract a few times, but this time in a more rhythmic fashion. All the while, as I am feeling all of this going on, I usually vocalize my pleasure, from now through the end of my orgasm. If I am inside my wife, I have a very strong desire to thrust deeper–it is almost a reflex action.

Then, usually I feel one, sometimes two more powerful PC muscle contractions, one right after the other, less than a second apart. This is actually what I consider to be the beginning of my ejaculation, although no semen has come out yet. The next (second or third) contraction usually brings the first squirt of cum out of my cock. This, and usually the second squirt, travel the farthest. …The pumping action of my PC muscle, and the feeling of a large volume of semen shooting through my penis feels incredible to me. (I usually have about 10-12 spurts of cum, again, each just less than a second apart…) As I continue spurting, the full feeling diminishes, and the hot feeling begins to subside, too, but not quite as quickly. After semen stops spurting out, I still feel some leftover random PC contractions as residual semen may ooze out. This is the end of my ejaculation.

I am usually breathing very heavily for a few moments along with a rapid heartbeat. The feeling in my penis changes somewhat now. The shaft gets less sensitive, while only the head gets super-sensitive. (Guys, as well as the ladies, you can relate to this feeling, I’m sure. It is almost painful to continue any stimulation). My penis starts to soften, but only a little at first… Breathing slows back to normal & I have to work to unclench my fists…

A detailed description by KL and it appears he is illustrating a combined climax of orgasm and ejaculation, and being quite conscious about it.

 

From Chris

…For me it seems to start in the perineum, spread into my balls, and then it rips through my cock like a steam train. The feeling is one of an ever tightening coil in my pelvic area which reaches a point where it just has to spring back to normal.

It starts with a delicious tingling, then pulsating waves, then wild convulsive contractions which all work to whip me along a kind of roller coaster ride in my crotch. If I’m tensing other muscles (eg my leg muscles if I’m standing spread eagled getting my cocked suck by another guy) then those muscles also quiver and tremble and come along for the ride. The feelings are hot, tingling, lusty and manly.

The best part is when the first phase of the orgasm has begun and it’s time to shoot a load. Spurting out the cum provides the final release. There’s nothing like that feeling of getting rid of all that juice that has been churning around my balls for so long. And of course the intensest feelings are along the shaft of my cock – which feels likes it’s being enveloped in the most fantastic tingling, throbbing and pulsating waves of release, bursting to exploding point.

While it doesn’t always come naturally, I can give my whole body over to the convulsions and thrash and bounce my arse on the bed and in general flail my limbs around. Keeping the pumping going after the immediate orgasm and speeding up the tempo also maximizes and prolongs the experience, which can leave my whole body, anchored to my pumping fist at the cock, convulsing and writhing for quite some time. And when I really far gone I don’t give a damn what the neighbours think as I pant and moan and groan. I expect it inspires them to get down to it themselves.

When I cum with a cock up my arse the feelings seem to start deeper in the pit of my arse where my prostate is located. Being prodded by a nice fat cock spreads the area over which the orgasm takes place. It’s like my insides, my lover’s cock and my pelvis are as one and riding the ecstatic waves in unison.

The more foreplay and delayed gratification the better the finale. Sometimes I experience mini orgasms with only a little cum dribbling out. These are both pleasurable and very tortured as you do get some release and delicious teasing tingling and a few faint contractions, but you need to discipline yourself not to go the whole hog, not if you want to experience the ultimate orgasm still to come. Under these circumstances the experience is the most cock-centred – I feel like I’m all cock, wound up, hot, and bursting to explode. Not much else exists in the world at such a time!

And the final pleasure? The sticky mess – some guys find this a curse but I guess being gay I’m pretty cum friendly. I like not knowing where the cum will fly – on me, my face, my stomach, the sheets, the head-board if I’m lucky, or my partner’s chest or face if he’s lucky. And I love to feel the spray of another guy’s cum on me – it’s all part of the rich delicious tapestry of the male orgasm…

Another detailed, and even poetic take on several ways to climax! Chris clearly distinguishes between ejaculatory climax and orgasmic climax, and even a more rare prostatic climax.

 

From Dennis

I learned the art of extremely explosive orgasms by training my PC muscles to EXPLODE at just the right moment. I do Kegel exercises daily (about 200 contractions per day) and so does my wife. The strength of our PC’s allow us to better control the timing and INTENSITY of our orgasms. The longer that I delay and control my ejaculation the more intense the moaning and wetness we both feel.

My precum begins to flow one drop at a time and my wife responds with moans of pleasure enjoying her growing nipples and intensifying wetness. I give her timing signals (1 minute or 30 seconds) as to how close I feel I am to orgasm. At that point she will tell me to slow down or go deeper or possibly hold still for a few moments so that we can build up more anticipation and time our impending explosions together.

As we approach the last 10 seconds she will signal me and I plunge deep into her and do several powerful Kegel contractions with my cock throbbing and ready to explode but no longer going in and out. She contracts tightly around my pulsing shaft and I begin to feel my huge load mixing and slowly flowing up from the base of my cock. As it begins to mix, I tell her 5 seconds and we both push deeper as my powerful PC muscle explodes the first shot of cum deep against the back of her powerfully contracting vagina. We both scream in ecstasy as our powerfully trained PC’s contract and the remaining 8 to 10 shots of cum explode into her and she tells me she senses each warm shot.

Her contractions are often so powerful from her daily Kegels (which she does sitting at her desk at work) that she literally triggers my explosion that I have been trying to time together with her. I just sit back and enjoy the power she has over me and let her know how wonderful her powerful contractions feel around my exploding cock. I savor each and every shot of warm load that I can fill her with until we both lay there holding each other tight until we drift off to sleep. She is the best that I could ever dream for!

She also enjoys seeing how powerful my explosion can be by bringing me to orgasm using her thumb and a few fingers to make me start dripping as she rolls my balls very gently with her other hand. If I let my load build up for about 5 days before, she is able to build the volume of cum up with her gentle hands for about 20 minutes and with one or two gentle perfectly timed rubs across the tip of my dripping cock she watches me explode for 10 or 12 seconds as she aims the sometimes 24″ or more shots wherever she wants (sometimes on me, sometimes on her).

Well, Dennis and his wife are certainly experts for very controlled and very intense ejaculatory climaxes, on Dennis side that is.

 

From Anonymous

The main focus of my orgasm is in my penis. As I either fuck my girlfriend, or masturbate, I can feel my orgasm start in my balls. It runs up though the shaft of my dick and then to cock’s head where I explode with a geyser full of cum. It feels great to ejaculate because it makes my dick feel good as the cum is being pushed out.

This describes an ejaculation, plain and simple.

 

From James

This was so appealing that I had to experience an orgasm myself during reading these fine entries and here is my experience As I increased stroking my penis (my #1 pleasure area), my nuts tighten, body stiffens and I let out a grunt of pleasure, knowing ejaculation is soon due. These precious couple seconds are the highest forms of pleasure and are focused in my groin.

The 1st ejaculation is accompanied by a grunt (extreme pleasure felt) and the shot goes far; a 2nd shot (very pleasurable) is accompanied by a verbal “oh” and a third as well. Later contractions feature the cum oozing out as the pleasure tapers. I project it was about a 10 second orgasm. Of course the best pleasure felt before the ejaculation.

James is talking about an ejaculatory climax as well.

 

From Jim

My orgasms are very centered in my penis. Initially, there is a tingling in my balls, which, as I get closer to orgasm, rises up along the shaft until, when I come, it’s very intense right at my cockhead. Ejaculation sensations run the gamut from there & gone to feeling like my insides are being squirted out my cock.

Jim explains an ejaculation here.

 

From Mark

An orgasm seems to teeter on the border of pleasure and pain… the pressure you feel as it builds up in a males genital region. Specifically the testicles until climax can be almost maddening if allowed to go on too long… I know that sounds kinda weird. It kicks in a primal need for satisfaction. Your muscles, in your back, legs, butt and stomach all tighten…. your heart rate increases. Your breathing becomes more labored. …with all the hormones running through your body you can be actually considered legally stoned during sex. You lose some of your higher cognitive functions.

As a male reaches the point of no return … it really does border on pain until actual orgasm and ejaculation happens. It quickly dissipates with each spasm of the PC muscles.

With Marks take I find another combined climax of orgasm and ejaculation.

 

From Zombie Ferguson

Mine starts as a rumble. I can feel it almost past my calves. It encircles each of my legs, and rises up my buttocks. I can feel the release almost through my stomach, and as it approaches I experience great flexibility, and an incredible sense of breathing and alertness. It makes my body shake, and my cock gets harder, and feels hotter. At the summit, I can’t see except for a gauzelike vision, and there’s a drumming, though quite quick that goes through my head, and rests in my ears, but only for a moment. My whole body feels like detaching and exploding in all different directions, and it’s amazing how “fully engulfed“ it feels, my mouth is open and taking in so much air it feels criminal, and at the explosion, all time stops for a brief instant, my thighs stiffen, my toes curl, and then there’s an explosion at the point of my shaft. Whoa! Then the ride down begins, fast furious, yet smooth. I feel like I’m landing in a room filled with all comfortable things. For a while, I’m completely, drooling and happy. I can feel the throbbing of my heart, and my sated penis as one continuous thud.

It’s blissful. The only feeling I have is, I gotta get back up that hill again…

Zombie Ferguson is definitely describing an orgasm. Notice that he does not mention anything about cum and spurting (but drooling after the climax). That is because orgasm overrides the sensations of ejaculation. Ejaculation becomes part of the more encompassing sensations of orgasm (enhancing it). This is a beautiful illustration of what an orgasm can feel like.

 

I hope that for starters I could give a hint about the different sensations possible with the different ways guys are able to experience their climaxes.

Ejaculation And Orgasm

I guess for many, many years now it has become common knowledge that ejaculation and orgasm are different reactions (in a male). However, when we speak about the sexual climax of a guy we tend to not be very specific in choosing the appropriate terms for what we actually are addressing. That is because both reactions do indeed occur in close succession of each other, if not almost simultaneously after all.

Up till now I put my thematic focus on ejaculation, the ejaculatory climax. I tried to be careful about using the term orgasm in my writing. Yet now is the time to shed some light on what orgasm is. In the following chapter I want to introduce to you what makes an orgasm, as so to illustrate the differences between the two basic peak-experiences a man is able to encounter. And we may eventually find that there is a whole set of different kinds of climaxing!

When you check out this blog and begin to count, you may come up with obviously different ways to enjoy a sexual climax. But why wouldn´t it be truly correct to speak of an orgasm when you shoot your load in a state of high arousal?

Well, there are defined parameters which enable us to define and distinguish one body reaction from the other. The main difference, besides the indicative ejection of cum at ejaculation, is the scope of the reaction concerning your body. Orgasm is holistic and more encompassing a climactic response of your body than is ejaculation. – In that case, you may ask, why not aiming for orgasm rather than ejaculation all the time?

There are many reasons for not to always pursue the big bang, besides both reactions are closely tied together and a given climax might most likely contain elements (parameters) of orgasm next to ejaculation. But biology (physics) has it, that no guy can produce a full body orgasm just like that, contrary to ejaculation!

Picture this analogy: orgasm is to ejaculation what a three-course meal would be to desert! The desert represents the ejaculation. You just love the desert, it´s sweet, it´s delicious, it´s quickly consumed so that you need to go for second/third helpings (or stretch the consumption), well until you really had it (we forget about MRP for a moment).

Now, a three-course meal would offer you a broader spectrum of taste-bud sensations. The main course is really something and makes you full (quite satisfied), the desert comes as a most welcomed bonus, yet being part of the whole experience. After such a meal you most likely feel well-fed, satisfied and at peace with the world. And for some time afterwards you are just good. – Got the picture, right?

Orgasm means such a satisfactory, heavy experience with a strong emphasis on emotional and even spiritual aspects. And this reaction is bound to gain meaning when more than one is involved, when emotion is in the game. Ejaculation is of a lighter quality yet still offers a broad range of relief-options, from the instant quick-peak to the profound, controlled bliss-time before and while shooting your accumulated milk. It is the ideal reaction for sex with yourself (and you can already read all about it in this fine blog ).

But let us check out orgasm now.

Milking – Forced Ejaculations (2)

In the previous post it became clear that forced ejaculations could turn torturous for a sub, when «victim» was a suiting label indeed. It certainly depends on the individuals acting out their passions (rather fetishes). Now, I tend to say that if the relationship of the two involved was less pathologically sadomasochistic and more roleplayingly sexually driven, the whole milking-the-male-experience would result in a sex-positive (unabusive) resolution after all.

Jeff´s background-info and recommendations meet my conviction:

The continuation of stimulation to produce subsequent ejaculations is determined beforehand. It may be that a man submits to 3 full ejaculations before he is allowed to stop and stimulation discontinued; or it may be that he submits to as many ejaculations as the other man can produce from him in a set period of time, such as 2 or 3 hours.

Sometimes there is a rest period after an ejaculation and sometimes not, it all depends on what is agreed upon by the two men ahead of time. Changes are not usually made after the experience begins, which is why good communication is essential. If however, things get too intense there is always an ability to stop the process or adapt to it. The idea, however, is to set realistic goals ahead of time that are sadistic enough to challenge and pleasure/torture you that push your limits, without it becoming abusive.

One of the most important things in a milking situation is to set realistic goals for the experience; keeping in mind you are going to be pushing your limits, and it won´t be easy, it will be pleasurably torturous. If its your first time set an appropriate goal, 90 minutes perhaps or two ejaculations; don’t go for 5 ejaculations on your first try if the most you’ve ever done on your own is two; it’s simply not a realistic goal and you really don’t want to end the experience prematurely.

After the initial ejaculation, the desire to be stimulated drops. Stimulation continues however, and even though your mind may be saying ‘no more’ your body WILL involuntarily respond to the stimulation. The beauty of the body is that it will respond to stimulation whether you want it to or not. You may want to stop, but your penis will grow erect again and will produce another ejaculation when stimulated properly despite what you ‘want’ to happen. This is the other side of the joy of pleasure and pain. You do not want to cum again, but it feels too good and you lose your ability to control it and your body responds by ejaculating anyway.

Subsequent ejaculations after two become much more intense obviously and that is where the push really begins. If you go for 3, 4 or 5 ejaculations, each one becomes a much more intense mixture of wanting it to stop, feeling good, being too sensitive and ultimately your body betraying you by responding to the repeated stimulation and yet another ejaculation is forced from your body.

Sometimes elements of teasing or edging … are incorporated, driving you from a place of not wanting to ejaculate to the opposite spectrum of now needing to ejaculate to achieve relief again. It’s incredibly hot to be stimulated on your second time, not wanting to cum again, but being teased and slowly building up from that “no-place” to a mind-set of deep and profound need and “yes” please get me off. Powerful indeed.

Milking [the male] is a powerful experience; it beautifully combines a man’s natural deep felt need to ejaculate, with controlling that ejaculation to provide him a pleasurable/agonizing experience that forces him to feel the pleasure against his will. When done you will be exhausted and utterly spent, but blissfully sated and happy.

Eventually couple of my thoughts about forced ejaculations:

The illustrations of this style of milking can only be a suggestion, even more than with the style of cum-control. That is because every man reacts differently not only from the other, but from himself, depending of his age, the situation he is in, his measure of arousal, his experiences and many more. Foremost his handling of MRP alters the outcome of a milking-the-male experience. Add to the many parameters a guy brings along the complexity of both the relationship of the dom & sub and the setting + rules of the session, and you see that the journey ahead is just hard to predict; nothing here is carved in stone!

I personally have no experiences with this practise, just indirectly so, sort of. As I am capable of repetitive climaxing in rather rapid succession, I not only know that multiples are possible, I also know that every session runs differently and that different parameters alter the outcome. Hence I may experience the biological aspects of forced ejaculations (after all I work my genitals to make me cum again and again), however, I do lack the psychological aspects as I renounce to be dominated and thus be forced to cum by a partner (in this kind of setting at least).

I guess that is why it is important to realistically set the goals at the beginning of a session to make it a profound experience you want to repeat. If your body just won´t process the neurological impulses to trigger yet another ejaculatory reflex – and MRP just is the perfect guess here – you may well end up with a worn out hose of raw flesh between your legs, despite sufficient lubrication.