Ruined Orgasm

March 16, 2012

In the world of BDSM we find a method of significant humiliation called ruined orgasm. Yet is there such a thing, and if so, why does it work?

I want to take a closer look here, because we deal with two body reactions when it comes to sexual climaxing. Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same, so which of the reactions is effected, if at all? The short answer is: you can not really ruin an ejaculation, but you can ruin an orgasm.

Why ruin after all? In this blog I recently wrote about cum-denial and forced ejaculation. Now an escalation of these practices within a master/mistress-slave constellation, where the slave is totally at the hands (and will) of his master/mistress, would be the destruction (ruining) of the experience of sexual relief. This is truly sadistic, because it leaves the victim highly frustrated if not damaged to a certain extend.

Concerning ejaculation, an attempt of ruining it, or rather experiencing it as such, is more related to the attitude and experience of the slave than to the biological process. Ejaculation is a reflex which either can be avoided, or which runs its program once triggered. The reflex can´t be interrupted, it can´t be ruined per se. It though can be denied, avoided.

When you avoid ejaculation, you edge. When you manage to avoid PONR but trigger emission (the free flow of milk) it is even more rewarding, because you harvest cum (with the associated sensations of expelling fluid from your glands) without losing your hornyness. And when you pass PONR you experience ejaculatory climax, although that may not always feel mind-blowing, depending on the circumstances. But the reflex does take place, your respective muscles do spasm in a pulsing manner, despite the volume of secretions waiting in your glands to see the light of day.

With orgasm it is a different story. The topic orgasm lies still ahead, actually, it will be the subject of my next chapter arriving soon. Orgasm is more complex than ejaculation. When you mess with that, you mess with the whole man!

Whereas ejaculation is a local phenomenon (centered in your pelvis region), the orgasmic reaction, being a powerful reflex as well, integrates the whole body. Orgasm, in short, is a discharge of energy (i.e. arousal and excitement having encompassed your being) letting you lose conscious control over your body for a brief moment.

Other than your ejaculation, which you can manipulate and observe and savor like from a distance, keeping calm over all (which in fact is the beauty of it), your body literally moves you at the moment of orgasmic release. This goes along with secondary physiological changes in your body that may be missing with ejaculation. Here are the most obvious ones:

  • The heart rate peaks as high as 180 beats per minute (from a resting rate of about 70).
  • The blood pressure peaks at about 200 over 110, from a resting pressure of about 130 over 70.
  • The respiratory rate peaks at about 41 breaths a minute, from a resting rate of about 12 per minute.
  • The sex flush, if present, peaks in intensity and distribution.

It is not difficult to imagine that a master/mistress ruins the orgasm of the victim when his body is set to discharge the accumulated energy or even begins to do so, while the master/mistress denies further stimulation to make it happen, instead turning away and leaving the victim totally frustrated with his primed biology now unable to execute the all-encompassing, body-wracking experience set to undergo right there and then. This ain´t healthy by no means. It´s like hitting the brakes at full speed!

After all, ruining a climax is as much a physical issue as it is a mental one. You need constant sensory input to trigger a climax, no matter if ejaculation or orgasm. And since both reactions are most often intertwined it may not matter much which of them is pending, once you are under total control of your dom. When you sense that you are ever so close to the threshold, or (even worse in this case) your point-of-no-return is reached and maybe just passed, and you are left alone in that instant, possibly strapped down, then you experience your life is ruined right there. You hardly find another frustration that sinister.

10 Responses to “Ruined Orgasm”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Please, post more about male orgasm!

    • nandisa Says:

      Coming up! It may take a while, but my next chapter will be dedicated to orgasm (until then explore the many aspects of ejaculation covered in this blog!). 😉

  2. Rok Says:

    I remember years ago experimenting with this type of orgasm with a very curious girl. We tried this a couple of times. We were in a casual relationship, but not in a dom/sub kind of way. The reason she wanted to ruin my orgasm (we didn’t call it that) was she really wanted to observe my body during climax upclose, without any interference from our hands and/or fingers.

    She said she enjoyed watching and feeling me climax, overall she was a sensual girl, also very intelligent and always carried this aura of curiosity and arousal in the bedroom.

    She commented how amazing it feels holding a penis while flaccid and slowly becoming bigger and harder, later also how it begins to slowly leak precum and contract in her palm. The feeling of a penis expand and throb between her fingers felt very enjoyable she said and how the veins would start to pop out on the skin felt very nice. When i was getting close i would tell her and she would slow down, using only three or four fingers and performing only gentle strokes, to prolong the high plateau phase. She found it very hot at that moment how the scrotum tightens, pulling the testicles closer to the body where before they would sort of dangle and bounce around and how everything turns a slightly darker shade of red. She then reminded me to tell her when my orgasm started, so she could let go of my penis in time and just observe how my climax unraveled. When i looked at her at that moment, she had an expression of awe on her, with her mouth open in a small grin and big huge eyes looking up and down my shaft, feeling my orgasm through her eyes, gently whispering “yes, yes, more, yes, gooood” encouraging me, watching the contractions and the semen spurting out, slowly weakening to just a dribble towards the end and just gently twitching. Sometimes she would use a different variation, where she would put her palm on my perineum and one of her fingertips on my anus to really get a feel on what’s going on in my body and she loved every second of it, especially since she never knew if she would see just one spurt of semen, or 10.

    Again, we weren’t in a mistress/slave relationship, just curious young lovers. We didn’t consider this type of orgasm ruined, it was still very enjoyable for me and for her. This was her story, telling me how she felt exploring my body in a loving manner and all the things that amazed her. Of course doing it just once was not enough because of all the things happening you miss out on a lot, so we did this quite a couple of times 😉

    • Tom Says:

      What a hot story, Rok. Thanks for sharing it. I completely relate to your girlfriend’s fascination as I share it too. Your description of how she appreciated your penis and all that it does, and the ability to be part of delivering such pleasure to that part of you, is the way I feel. When she stopped and let the orgasm happen without stimulation, did you ever find yourself still hard and ready to go again? When that has happened to me, I may soften slightly but with a little encouragement I am ready to go again.

    • Rok Says:

      Thank you for such a quick reply Tom. No, I was never really a multiple cummer. My penis would usually go soft and we would cuddle, then we would go again after about half an hour. She would play with me a lot though and i would deliver as much as i could. Congrats on your talent though, i wish more men could do that, or rather, would train ourselves to do that. I recently commented on a post Nandisa wrote called Performance trial (2) where you were the author of most of the content, i think you did a wonderful job describing how you climax more than once!

    • nandisa Says:

      I totally agree with Tom, this is one hot report on how you explored the core-reaction of your sexual being! You seem to be very lucky with your intimate partners (i.e. girlfriends), I was not as fortunate with mine. At some point I started to compensate writing (hopefully) arousing fiction featuring partners who totally love everything about male sexuality (you might want to browse this category). You will find that this is a characteristic trait of the stories I published here. Your report really fits in there, thanks a lot! It shows us that my kind of fiction may not at all be far-fetched! 🙂


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